alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
