sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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