I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
