if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
