The maid of honor just puked.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's never too late to be topless.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
