the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
