direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
This beer is not sobering me up at all
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
