I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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