The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
