I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
