I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
