We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My vagina is very pro this idea
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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