Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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