I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
we're making bets on your personal life
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
