Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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