life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I have peed in a lot of sinks
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
