a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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