So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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