Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
