uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
