check it out our google latitudes are spooning
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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