these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
