She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
