Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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