I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
