I hope mine doesn't look like that
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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