I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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