Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
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