Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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