Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
