I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
