sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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