So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize