Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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