May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
