Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
