Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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