Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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