i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize