After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
This house was built for laser tag.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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