there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize