Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
