I murdered the dance floor call the cops
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
