How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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