Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize