id be glad to
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
