I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
