He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
