Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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