I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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