I'll bet she douches with gravy.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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