are you still at the devil's house?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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