Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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