He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
