First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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