well you can't waste a boner
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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