I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
