Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
