MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
