I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
