What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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