Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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