Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
