Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
